Shame is the result of attachment wounding; you might say it starts with a broken heart. Attachments are the personal connections
discover your best self after trauma
You are God's treasure.
His Masterpiece.
It's true—the Bible says so. But maybe you need some convincing. Maybe you believe that sexual abuse and childhood trauma have destroyed the treasure.
Maybe you believe that what happened to you has buried your best self forever beneath layers of the sand and dirt of fear, shame, blame, sorrow, and more.
Maybe you believe that what happened to you has buried your best self forever beneath layers of the sand and dirt of fear, shame, blame, sorrow, and more.
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Maybe you believe that you will never be free of it all. That you'll never shine again.
I get it. I used to think that way about myself. But it wasn't true for me, and it isn't true for you.
It's true that priceless gold and gems can be locked and hidden away in a sunken treasure chest.
But it's also true that being buried doesn't destroy that treasure.
It's still there. It's still valuable.
That said, the treasure buried beneath all that sand can't dig itself out. It's stuck.
And a person who is up to their ears and eyeballs in all that shame or fear or guilt can't dig themselves out, either. They, too, are stuck.
They need someone they can trust to help.
Someone to help them remember—or possibly believe for the first time—just how valuable, how rich, that treasure buried inside them really is, and why it needs to be—deserves to be—unearthed and shared.
I'm hoping that's where I come in, as a trustworthy, trauma-educated Christian voice in the online wilderness, devoted to helping you discover your best self after trauma—and also as someone who knows about hiding away parts of myself.
My calling to help women like me came as a bit of a surprise—to me! You see, I'm quite the introvert, and much more comfortable in the back of the room, but the Lord showed me that my quiet self has a gift of connecting with and encouraging others whose stories are much like mine—women who have experienced childhood trauma and sexual abuse.
You can read more of my story here. The turning point for me was when a Christian therapist taught me to apply the Word of God to the issues I was confronting and put me on a trajectory of deep healing. Now, I'm privileged to offer help and encouragement to other women, walking alongside them as they discover their best selves again. I hope you'll become one of them!
Join me, won't you? We can dig out — together.
"To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart
and to sing it back to them when they have forgotten."
Arne Garborg
My friend, God placed a song — your unique song — in your heart.
He knows that abuse stole it away from you.
Often he uses people (like me) to bring reminders of His truth to people (like you).
Can you imagine what life could be if you remembered your song?
I can.
Consider this your personal invitation to share in my imaginings
until you can believe your own.
Discover and Recover with me
For almost 20 years, I've come alongside women whose best self, the treasure that God created them to be, has been buried for many years beneath layers of someone else's unspeakable sins against them.
I've been privileged to help them reclaim their God-given identity in Him, to encourage them to see things in new ways, and to discover and pursue their dreams again.
Similar to joining forces to "dig up" a treasure beneath the sand, we work together to recover God's masterpiece and restore her in all her glory.
Sister, this could be you, too. Yes, you.
What's in it for you? God's Best!
Reclaim Your Identity
You may believe that your abuse defines you, but it doesn't. God does. Who does God say you are? I can help you see the truth of your identity and strengthen your God-confidence.
Look at Things Differently
Abuse limits our vision. But there are no limits on what God sees for us. Together, we'll explore your thoughts and experiences with fresh eyes and the perspective found in God's Word.
Discover Your Dreams
What is God calling you to? Whether it's renewing old dreams or dreaming new ones, every step takes us closer to God's best for us. I'll walk with you as you follow God's plan for you.
Restore Connection
People have hurt us, yet there are safe people in this world. I'll be your cheerleader and companion in the process of restoring your trust in God and others.
Make Peace with your Past
While it feels safer to ignore the hurts and painful memories from our abuse, it isn't healthy. I can stand with you as you confront those ghosts and make peace with them.
Look Forward to your Future
It's hard to imagine a future free of the pain of abuse. But it's possible, and I want that for you. If you want it for yourself, we can work toward that bright, shiny future—together.
“Trauma isolates. It isolates us from from ourselves,
from each other, and even from God.
But we were made for relationship, not isolation.
We will find our deepest healing,
and our greatest gifts,
within relationship.”
~ Francey True ~
The brain science of trauma: fight, flight or ... isolate??
God created us for relationship with Him and with other people. He also created us with a defense mechanism in our brains that protects us from danger. When, through traumatic events, that defense mechanism is always "on," we become separated from God and others. This keeps us safe at the time, but it's not a great way to live.
Workplace trauma: the dynamics of sexual abuse at work
The workplace can become an unsafe space for anyone due to sexual harassment or even assault, but it wreaks a particular kind of havoc on trauma survivors, for whom it feels all-too familiar. This kind of workplace toxicity replicates the dynamics of domestic abusive relationships, with 38% of women and 14% of men experiencing some form of sexual harassment on the job. This can lead to serious physical and mental health problems, burnout, and employee turnover.
Military sexual trauma: when the enemy is one of your own
Every year, approximately 20,000 active duty servicemen and women experience some kind of sexual trauma. Many of them experience multiple sexual assaults. Military Sexual Trauma (MST) is not a trend; it's a longstanding pattern of widespread institutional abuse in which victims who pursue legal action may be stonewalled, punished, and even discharged.
childhood abuse: Violence or neglect do great harm
A child's early relationships set the stage for the rest of their emotional and psychological life. If these relationships include neglect, sexual abuse, domestic violence, or other kinds of harmful interactions and victimization, the child will struggle in most domains of their adult life. However, with time and effort, survivors can heal and become healthy, happy adults.
Living with trauma: the many faces of distorted thinking
As a result of the lies of their abusers, it is common for survivors of abuse to develop distorted beliefs about themselves and the world around them—and coping strategies that, though reasonable and even necessary in the short term, become liabilities later on. After-effects of trauma may include shame, depression, self-harm, physical illnesses, distrust, addictions, thinking errors, self-hatred, negative self-talk, procrastination, and more.
What Others Say
"
I've appreciated Francey's sense of humor as well as her calm and consistent presence in so many areas. She has a gift for looking at issues and approaching them in a "new" way, rather than merely recycling what is usually said.
Robin K.
"
...it was so awesome to be part of a group where I felt safe to share. I for once didn't feel alone and crazy for struggling. Francey's continued dedication to coming alongside women who have experienced this kind of trauma is wonderful.
Gina S.
"
I've worked alongside Francey for 18 years, both in Celebrate Recovery and "In the Wildflowers" sexual abuse recovery ministry. I see God's light shining through her. She makes a person feel safe and supported, helping them heal and grow.
Sharon L.
It's Your Turn! Let's Work Together
You rock, Sister.
You've started the journey. You're doing the therapy.
Your past is (mostly) in the past, and it (mostly) stays there.
You've worked hard.
So, what's next? (Hint: Just. About. Anything.)
Let's talk about that.
Choose one of the options below to learn more about partnering with me.
I'm currently offering individual coaching as well as a waiting list for my VIP membership.
MY NAME IS...
Francey True
I write, teach, and speak on sexual abuse and trauma-related topics. As a certified Master Christian Life Coach, I bring my Christian worldview into the painful journey of recovery from trauma and sexual abuse, but I'll happily talk about trauma and recovery with anyone of any (or no) faith tradition.
An abuse survivor myself, I have a heart for equipping the Church to understand the unique needs of trauma survivors. And, as a veteran, for raising awareness of Military Sexual Trauma (MST).
My greatest joy, though, is to bring a bit of sunshine into the dark corners of the recovery journey and offer hope to my fellow sojourners. For more of my story, head over to my About Me page. And, thanks for stopping by!
Read My Latest
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Where was God when I was abused?" Isn't this THE question we want answered? You know what I think? I think
Procrastination: The Trauma Connection
Did you know there's a connection between procrastination and trauma? Are you a perfectionist? It's a crazy triangle, my friend, and
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